Yesterday, I wrote a note to the little voice. You know, the little voice that says you are never [insert whatever you feel insecure about here] enough. Never fast enough, smart enough, strong enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, tall enough, skilled enough. That voice.
For me, I remember the exact week that little voice moved in. It was in July 2009. That was the day that suddenly being Elise Clark wasn't good enough. That was the week I started worrying about misstepping. That was the voice that caused me to be quiet when I would usually be myself. That voice that made me worriedly look at what other people got on the assignment and compare scores. That voice that made me look in the mirror and wish that something was different.
Well, three years too late, I decided it was time for the little voice to move on. It's contract was up. It needed to pack up it's stuff and be out by night. It could no longer take up room in my mind and soul. Real estate there is expensive.
It was interesting, walking around school today. This morning, I was walking to the debate room. Walking there like I always do. Today, however, it was different. I walked there with my head not quite so heavy. Something in me whispered, "The little voice is gone. The little voice left, remember?"
Yes, it will take some time for me to fill that empty hole in my head where the little voice used to live, with a little voice that will actually pay it's rent.
I can't wait.
-Elise Clark, the girl who is finally ok with herself.
No comments:
Post a Comment