I can now make crazy decisions.

I heard once that when you're grieving about something, you should wait a year to make any decisions. Well, one year ago today, I was grieving.  A year ago, on November 15, 2011, my world was tilted.

After a few days, I realized that I had blown it up.  I had made it my 'passion' that well, I was too emotionally invested in.  I know that.

I analyze why it was such a big deal to me.  Why do I still care, even a year later?  Why?  I used to see it as weak.  Weak that I hadn't moved on.  Weak that I was hurt perhaps?  I seem to have it my mind that the epitome of strength is never being hurt.  I don't really agree with that anymore.  I know that in order to be strong, you have to be weak.  You have to be humble enough, and thus strong enough, to admit that you are human.

I think I've realized why it was such a big deal to me.

I loved volleyball.  A chunk of my life died.  I defined myself through volleyball, and I had to redefine myself.  I realize now that I was really grieving losing that old me.  I still miss it like heck.  Oh my word, I miss playing competitive volleyball so much.  I mean, imagine, you had done something for so long, and had learned so much, to suddenly stop.

Anyway...rambling as I sort this through my head, but I guess I want you to know that I can now make crazy decisions.  I was grieving the 'Old Elise' for a year.   Yes, she's gone, but this 'New Elise'?  She's pretty rad.

Let ya know what these new decisions are.

Hello world, it's Elise.