Author's Note: This is probably the weirdest time for me to be writing about this. Really strange for me...but I would rather get it out there before the year is up. Before I have to wonder about the what if's of something. Or have to deal with anything bad. So right now, this is it. Not trying to be all self centered...but I feel like this story of my mine needs to be recorded.
March 9, 2012: I'm all prepped out for the State tournament. This is my first year for the debate team... I am a little novice. I am wearing my royal blue ruffled shirt, a green sweater with a royal blue argyle patter on one side (much cuter than it sounds), a gray skirt, tights, and heels. (Always the heels.) I qualified for Nationals a few weeks before, taking first at that tournament. That was the first time I really...took first at something. I go to my Spanish class, but in walking by the debate room, I realize I'm excused from class so I start conversing with my captain and teammates about when we're leaving and how nervous I am. I have my cases prepped and debated. My little expando folder filled with all sorts of blocks that are labeled in a specific order with borrowed sticky notes from an A.P. English student. (Now I understand why he had extra.) We head down to the school. The older kids are teasing me, as always. About who I like and what I'm going to do. The usual.
We arrive at the tournament and I proceed to freak out. This is routine for every tournament and my captain gives me the usual pep talk. "Elise, you have beaten all these people before. You will do great. You have a had a great year, this isn't anything new." My friends listen in, his speeches always help me calm down. I go to my first round. To my annoyance, I can't remember anything about this round...all I know is I won. I go and hang out with the debate team afterwards and wait for postings. I see postings. Shoot. I'm hitting (debate-speak for debating them in round. Don't worry...I'm non-violent. :) this girl that I hit last weekend. I beat her, but it was close. I start freaking out again...I go to round and she is sickly sweet. She asks if she wants to switch sides, since we hit each other on the same side last weekend. I avoid the question and go into round. I debate her, and it's stressful. She is rude, which is kind of her m.o., and doesn't provide the evidence I want to see. I don't know the decision of that round, but later my coach comes up to me and tells me that she thinks I deserved to know that I beat her. My day is made. The score: 2 rounds for me.
One more round for the day. It's getting late and I'm tired. I'm waiting outside of my round and I see my opponent. He is someone that I have seen at tournaments all year, and is one of the few debate people that are cute. I've never seen him debate though, but I hear he is a senior. We go into round, and we have a progressive judge. My opponent starts talking fast and I only catch most of what he's saying. After the round, because my judge was a rebel like this, he discloses. I have lost the round and I let three connecting cards (or pieces of evidence) that secured his position slide. I feel like the biggest idiot ever, especially when I talk to my captain afterward. He asked me argument after argument to see if I had brought any of them up....I hadn't.
I'm disappointed and the biggest little mope-ball ever. I go to the hotel room thinking that I lost state for everyone. Then I realize, this isn't like volleyball. Just because you lost one round doesn't mean the whole team is going to lose. I'm just a novice, and I'm not supposed to carry the team or win. It will be fine...
I'm in a room with a chatty senior who wants to talk about boys...or more accurately, her boy toys. My friends and I, novice sophomores, don't say much. We are scared that we're at State. This is actually the first time we've gotten to share a room together. We go to sleep, but I struggle that night. I feel guilty, and the girl next to me is snoring. I'm restless and nervous.
To be continued...who know debate was so intense! :)
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