The Dregs.

I am ready to chalk this week up to a loss.

A loss in the way that I didn't run as fast as I wanted (or at all), I didn't get the sleep I needed, I wasn't as free as I should have been, I didn't stay ahead of my homework, I didn't eat the way I should have, I didn't manage my time in the best way, I was too needy, too whiny, too....scared.

Isn't it funny how everything in your life boils down to fear?  Too scared to test yourself.  Too scared to put your phone down and look up.  Too scared to be bored.  Too scared to stop being lazy and push a little harder.  Shaking too much in your boots to do much of anything.  Scared of how you look or act or sound or talk.

This week has boiled all the water out of my life, and I'm stuck here.  Adding on the burdens of the unfulfilled actions and worries that I should have taken care of this week.  I gave up last Saturday at around one in the afternoon, when the bricks started to fall.

And all that is left?  The dregs.

But I like this picture of me.  Look, see the earrings?  Right after I got my ears pierced.  Another time I was terrified.  This was before the school year started.  That was when I was really scared.  And yes, a lot of my fears have actually come true.  But this picture?  It reminds me of being scared, Harper Lee (I actually think I wrote about that feeling on this day), and the freedom of who I was.  

I think it's important to gather up the broken shells of who you are, after everything kind of falls apart, and replant them with the memory of who you were.  Also, of who you will be.

xo. Elise