I think it's funny when you have moments that drag you back to your insecure, tenth grade self. It usually catches me by surprise, as I typically think I'm over that kind of fear or insecurity, but nope, it's right back again.
I heard some news yesterday about a scholarship that should put me at ease with my abilities and potential. I have had countless opportunitites that should give me the confidence to not worry about the little things any more.
Yet, as I sit down to help edit a paper someone asked me to do, I freeze. I see other's comments. I wonder how on earth I would be qualified to give my two cents. Why me? I didn't do anything extraordinary in the aspect.
In some ways it's nice to feel this insecurity, I guess. It's a good reminder of who I am, how I need to still recognize the help that I've gotten, etc.
I don't know why certain people serve as a trigger, and I can't help but revert to that girl in the gold, shiny metallic skirt. I'm thinking that everyone feels this, and grown adults often catch their breath in surprise when they realize they are no better than their middle school self.
xo. Elise
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