Sunday, January 15, 2017

15,940 sq. miles

We all have a Switzerland in our lives.  Or at least I hope everyone does.  I hope everyone has a specific spot in this world where their dreams change to reality.  Mine happens to be 15,940 square miles.

I requested a gold foil map of Switzerland for my birthday.  And while it's beautiful, and everything a gold foil map should be, it represents so much more than that for me.

People look at it and say, oh that's nice, because it truly is beautiful.  But I look at it and I say, oh that's where prayers were answered, fears were thrown, and where I jumped.  I took the big leap and prayed and hoped and wished and cried and worked for my dream.

And at the end of the day, the dream that became a reality in Switzerland was really just my major.  And isn't it funny, how in the aftermath, after the dust settles, dreams change from "I hope so's" to "really just's."

It really was just my major.  It really was just debate state.  It really was just playing volleyball.  I don't pretend to be wise and mature, and I won't ignore the fact that most of my dreams are focused around the socially constructed education system and imbalance of achievement.  I won't pretend that 'making the volleyball team' is equal to 'hearing the word remission.'  I won't pretend that getting into my major was the end all be all, most important thing of my life.

It just felt like it.

But I look at the map now, of a place that proudly claims neutrality, as a place where I feel peace.  And I view it as a physical manifestation of prayers being answered and modern day miracles.  Not miraculous that I got in, but miraculous that my fervent prayer was answered.  Just for me.  God, in His everlasting mercy, answered hundreds of my prayers, just for me.  And I will always think that is worth praising the heavens for because when God could have said no, He said yes.  He granted me the tender mercy of an answered prayer.

And I always want to remember that day I woke up 12:30 (sans alarm), checked my phone to see a text saying I got into the strategy program, congrats, from my mom.  I always want to remember double checking the website myself, texting my dad, my sister, and my closest friend.  I want to remember turning to my roommate and saying, I just got into the strategy program and hearing that she got into the OBHR program.  I want to remember not being able to sleep and saying prayers of gratitude. I want to remember getting up in the morning and running with people from my study abroad, not even the people I was closest too, but they were there and I was happy.   I want to remember running along Lake Geneva, talking about anything and everything and not being able to stop smiling.  The world was sunny and the grass was green and we meandered through that lake town.

And that is why I will always operate under the childish belief that life is always good in Switzerland.  And how could it not be, when the day is finished with pizza, cold Coke in a bottle, and a view worth falling for?

xo. Elise

1 comment: