In Light Of

In light of everything that is going on, it seems trivial to talk about the small things.  The mildly difficult things.  The assignment or test or group project.  It seems dumb to talk about my insecurities or worries or fears.

2017 has been an unexpected roller coaster that seems to be testing me in ways I didn't ever anticipate.  I've had to accept a lot more help than I actually want to.  I've had to admit defeat in my pursuit of perfection--again.  I bought a bag of kale and am now realizing I don't know how to eat kale.  I missed class for the first time.  I have said no to multiple people (aka boys) that have caused me to reflect and second guess myself.  I've had to acknowledge that there are times where I am actually, in fact, the problem.  I lost my Grandma, a fact that has rocked my world in ways I couldn't have guessed.

And 2017 has required a lot more breathing than I've thought.  Which is fine, I guess?  <-- But that sentence is really something you say to your roommate in more of a passive aggressive tone when you're trying not to sound like a judgy person and that you're cool with the situation.

There have been a lot of moments with God though, and I think that is a fairly decent way to be living.

So in light of that, I'm going to continue to find that elusive balance I thought would have arrived.  And in light of that, I'm going to continue to have moments with God.