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I went to bed last night, at 2:30 am and just felt a wave of relief.  2019 was a year where I kept trying, and trying, and trying.  Part of me is hoping it was just a 2019 thing, but part of me is also still not convinced that it won’t be a forever thing.

I am glad that 2019 is done.  There were good parts and beautiful moments, but I am taking the good parts into 2020 and leaving everything else behind.  I woke up this morning feeling hopeful, and I realized that so much of last year I was coming from everything with fear.  I was so scared, worried, and surviving, that I could barely keep my head above the water.  I dealt with a lot of internal pain and heartache, something that I really dislike because I don’t like keeping things inside.  On the outside, and in reality, I had a beautiful year, but on the inside, it was an uphill climb. 

On the flipside of another decade and another year, I am feeling hopeful.  I feel like I can finally look up and out.  I can take in the view, and I’ve decided to come from a place of happiness.  I’m going to have faith this year—in myself and my God.