A year ago

A year ago I didn't have a skincare routine or own a road bike or know how to brown butter.  I didn't know how clean Singapore would be or how to handle a red-eye flight and a hotel that wouldn't let me check in.  I had read the Harry Potter books or not had a boss for eight months.  I didn't actually know any of my current friends a year ago, a strange thought when I take a second to ponder that.  I was finally starting to understand my job, six months after I had started. 

Looking back now, I didn't know anything a year ago.  And I know in a year from now, I'm going to be thinking the same thing.  I have no concept of time right now.  I still have moments where I have to consciously wonder if we are heading into March or November, spring or fall.  I occasionally look up, surprised that my 23rd year is almost done, when I'm still not entirely sure I have ever felt like a 23 year old. 

I'm proud of all of it, and also exhausted when I think about this past year. It's been a lot, and there is a sense of melancholy that time continues to churn, even when I sometimes wish I could freeze it on that summer night in the pool or that fall day where the sky was explaining its story.