Irony

I can't really afford this post right now, but tomorrow marks the beginning of the end of my debate career.  Something which makes me want to tear up right now and go back to that stage of innocence.  Ah, the novice years.

I am going into this tournament with more experience than most of the kids.  That doesn't mean I'm better, it just means that I'm old.

I was thinking about last year...about State.  I know I needed that experience to be humbled and to rely more on my Heavenly Father.  As painful as that was, I know it's true.

But maybe, Heavenly Father also knew that the debate team needed a leader that was humble.  Not someone that would go to the front of the room entrenched by their own success and confidence, but maybe someone a little like me.  A little...uncertain.  A little (a lot) scared.  And more than a little ready to reclaim that confidence.  More than ready to reclaim what was once mine.

No, not that old, stuck-up, hey I'm pretty good at this attitude.  But, rather, the mentality that I'm not supposed to be a threat, I'm just supposed to enjoy playing the game.  I'm just here to talk and see what happens. Reclaim the reputation of my school.  My team.  To reclaim the confidence and reduce the panic of the team.  To no longer see the fear in other's eyes, but rather see a reflection of joy.

Because honestly?  I am now getting a little excited.  And that, my friends, is joy.

Also, irony that seems to be so prevalent in my life. Last year, I was going into this tournament as State Champion, having only lost one round at the 2012 State Tournament.

Now I'm going into this tournament as State Participant, having only won one round at the 2013 State Tournament.

Irony, isn't it the best?

h&g. Elise