Connect the Dots

The title is really a challenge, good luck connecting the dots with this one.

1.  I realized yesterday that my relationship with Heavenly Father is really the only one that I can be completely, absolutely, wholly needy.  So often in relationships people try to be the strong ones.  You have to be independent.  You have to share.  You have to support.  It's a give and take kind of thing.  But, my relationship with God?  I don't have to put on a brave face.  I can tell Him over and over again that I need Him.  I don't have to walk on eggshells or think about how I can help Him.  I can give back to Him by obeying his commandments, but at the end of the day, I don't have to be strong, and He will compensate.

2. I've been observing someone in my life lately (don't worry fam, it's not you guys).  They are a college freshman like me, and I think they're worried about being replaced.  They talk about home in rapturous tones.  They go home (a lot).  They are throughly convinced that whatever is going on at home could not happen without them.  And I think it's sad.  It's inevitable that you are life is going to go without you.  It's inevitable that sometimes you will be replaced, not completely, but in some ways.  It's just the way it is.  I wish she could recognize that and realize that it isn't a bad thing, and she is bigger than what she left at home.

3. Sometimes the expectations in my life scare me.  They terrify me and the unspoken words people almost utter make me shake in my boots.  People expected a lot of me after I graduated high school.  It's inevitable, since I was the valedictorian, and the figurehead of academic success in my class.  I left high school with high expectations.  I knew I was going somewhere and it was going to be great.  There have been a few moments lately in my life that make me want to give up though, on that super ambitious person.  I want to forget about those dreams and everyone's expectations as they flippantly say, "Oh Elise, you're so smart.  You're going to be president one day.  Seriously, would you take notes for me?  You're so brilliant."  Not going to lie, those flattering phrases went to my head.  And at the first sign of a tremor, I started shaking.  I consoled myself with thinking that I could simply fade.  Fade into a mediocre existence where no one would expect things of me.  But then I remembered my Heavenly Father, and what He expects of me.  He expects a lot more of me than mediocrity.  He hasn't given me mediocre circumstances.  So maybe I don't achieve everything always thought I would in life, but I can't simply fade.  I have an obligation to do my best.  And I have a duty to fulfill it, whatever it is.  Heavenly Father doesn't just want me to better, He needs me to be better.

xo. Elise