Recharge

This week really is the midterm of life.  Midway through the semester.  Two midterms this week.  And wow.  I'm exhausted.

I've been feeling disconnected all week.  I haven't felt like I have anywhere to go.  When I think about my goals, instead of feeling inspired, I feel terrified.  It's been hard.  I am proud of myself for not completely bingeing on ice cream and I'm proud of myself for talking some time to recognize that this haze will pass and eventually things will smooth out.  Eventually I won't be so scared.

This morning though, I finally got 8 hours of sleep.  My roommate had left for work already.  I was by myself.  And I could take a deep breath.   I pushed myself in the my scripture study, read a few more pages.  I prayed out loud.  I prayed out loud and told Heavenly Father everything.  I told Him my fears, even the really really dumb ones that feel so incredibly small to even say out loud.  The ones I feel dumb even voicing to my family or my friends.  And I am so grateful to let you know that He listened.

I have had so many reminders lately to let Him take control.  I can't always figure it out.  I can't always know what to do.  It seems like I have no idea how to do anything in my life.

But you know what?  He's going to figure it out.  If I fail, He will pick me up.  If I get hurt, He will comfort me.  If I feel pain, He will soothe everything.

Sometimes I am so scared of my future, but it's ok.  Because I have faith that He is going to be with me through it all.

So I'm here, ready for the recharge.  I'm ready to start again.  And I'm ready to have faith.

xo. Elise