18 Going on 19

It's so strange to think that I completed my third list #go# list. I remember the moment I wrote my first one.  It was during Sacrament Meeting, right after I didn't make the volleyball team that I wanted.  I was devastated since my identity had been snatched up right from underneath me.  And it was awful.  I was angry and started writing down every single thing I did that had nothing to do with volleyball.  And that is where the sixteen items came from.  And it felt good to see in black and white that I was a girl who was more than just a sport.  The gift of perspective has taught me that I have always been more than a simple game, trophy, record, grade, score, achievement, and award.  I am more than any number or talent.  And I am grateful that this silly, little list has helped me see that. 

I know some people don't really 'get' my obsession with lists.  Not going to lie, there have definitely been moments that I don't get them either.  I actually gave up on lists in October, and it is so freeing.  As time goes on, I'm learning that goals and lists aren't everything.  Sometimes it's ok to drop it all.  But I want to continue with this list.  I love New Year's with a very healthy obsession, and I want this year's list to be full of beautiful things that I truly love.  I want to use this list to accomplish things that make my heart sing.  I have a really really good feeling about 2015.  

My birthday is in three days (3!).  It's funny, I didn't want to turn 18 last year.  It seemed too old and too scary for me to handle.  Yet here I am, feeling completely ready to be 19.  I can handle it.  Turning 18 was such a beautiful experience.  My senior year really was going perfectly.  My mom threw me the best surprise party.  I was accomplishing a lot and really loving it.  

Now I'm turning 19 with a great life.  I get along with my roommates, I love my college, and I'm close with my family.  I've developed a fun friend group.  I'm feeling hopeful.  

Recap of my 18go19 list: 

Go to college. (This was so hard but so good in the best way possible). 

Graduate high school. (One of the few days that I remember as being so absolutely perfect.  A celebration of a phase that was so good for me.)

Make a new dessert. (I can't even remember what the first one was, but I've tried so many this year!  From French macaroons, custard ice cream, peanut butter bars, berry crisp, etc).

Try swimming (This was pretty much a fail, but I tried it, even if it was hard).

Run a 1/2 marathon (or 10k) (Wow, I actually did this! One of the few things that kept me sane during the summer (or maybe it kept me insane).  This was so hard but crossing the finish lines is still one of the most rewarding things I've done.  I finished the race, had breakfast, and proceeded to move out later that afternoon.  Take about crazy).

Do yoga. (hehe, done the day before the half marathon.  I actually really liked it, but I haven't done it since). 

Make gelato. (Booyah, strawberry gelato.  Check).

Create a holiday. (August 15th--saying goodbye to summer.  A school year New Year's Eve.)

Try a new art form. (Counting coloring with crayons for my December Advent.  I also am counting all of the cooking I've done and decorating my dorm).

Read a biography. (Boys in a Boat.  Fascinating read, I really learned a lot).

Organize room. (Counting setting up my room at BYU and leaving my room at home). 

Start a tradition. (Make banana bread on the first snowfall of the year). 

Create a time capsule. (Wrote it down and put it in the little envelope in my high school journal).

Try a new ice cream flavor. (Actually made it a goal to try all of the flavors at the BYU Creamery so I am definitely accomplishing that goal). 

Dance in public. (The Sweetheart's Dance I danced my heart out and loved it, p.s.)

Create a hidden sanctuary. (Balcony at the JFSB.  Actually that whole building.  I kind of love it.  Also, the bench across the street from it with the old bell). 

Listen to someone. (Really tried to do that this year).

Do that thing that terrifies you. (I did a lot of these this year.  Sterling Scholar.  We the People. A.P. tests.  Debate state.  Graduation.  Half marathon.  Move to college.  Volunteer with Student Alumni.  Take finals. Go to class.  I mostly put this on my list to remind myself to do the hard things.  It's easier for me to do that thing that scares me when I know I can cross it off my list).  

My heart is so full tonight.  I had the best time talking to my sister and almost cried when I saw how much she loved her students and how much they loved her.  My parents are the sweetest.  Life is just so good.  And I am going to continue to relish in this for as long as I can.  

xo. 

Elise