Girl

It's funny, I was thinking about how much more relaxed I am now that I am in college, and then today happened.  In a few hours, I will be in a phone interview for a scholarship, and to say I'm nervous is an understatement.  I'm nervous, just like I was in high school.  I've got my whole family in on it too, just like in high school.  I don't know what I would do without their support and prayers.

I was talking to a couple of friends of mine who also applied for the scholarship, but didn't get a phone interview.  I was chatting with one after class today, and he mentioned they both wondered if I got a phone interview because I was a girl.

I probably should have just smiled to myself, and said, maybe.

Instead, I did the typical response.  I said it was probably because I was president of four clubs, took a lot of college classes, and was valedictorian of my class.  Ouch, way to go for the humility Elise.

I was thinking about it yesterday how it's funny no one here really knows what I was like in high school.  I don't act the same way I did, super involved, super intense.  College doesn't provide me with the same opportunities to act like I did in high school, and I am ok with that.

I can't blame the boys for thinking it was because I was a girl.  As far as they could tell, I was an ordinary college freshman who did worse on her biology tests than one of them.  I was so incredibly busy my senior year, and they didn't see any of that.

Maybe it was because I was a girl.  I don't really care.  It's a weird feeling to be flashbacked to all-too-familiar nervousness.  The icy finger-tips, rock in my stomach, and strained laugh.

But hey, I'm ok with it.

xo. Elise