Upside Down

I was walking to my car after work, actually feeling pretty good.  The day had gone fairly quickly, blisters and Excel training notwithstanding.

I unlocked my car, and then wow, it hit me.  This huge wave of homesickness.  I was getting into a silver Toyota, and I really want to drive my blue Jeep.  I miss the mountains and the natural orientation.  I miss my family fiercely.  I miss my hair and how I used to know how to style it.  I miss the penetrating sun and its ability to instantly warm.  I miss knowing my way home without having to go by the GPS.

And the wave came and crashed all over me.  And a really big part of me is really grateful that there are only 65 more days of rinsing my cherry tomatoes in the bathroom sink.

I'm grateful for all of the cool things about this summer that have me definitively saying that there is more good than bad.

But I'm also grateful that I only have to be this type of brave for 65 more days, you know?  My life seems to be balancing being afraid that nothing will ever change and being terrified that everything will change.  And this summer is a nice experiment to turn both sides of the equation upside down.