Able to Breathe

I once heard of someone wanting to be a bear because you eat your body weight and sleep it off in hibernation.  Eating + sleeping through winter sometimes sounds like the best plan.  As this winter came to a close,  I was especially thinking about being able to sleep past this past season. 

Things have been getting better, slowly but surely.  I contribute it to a lot of things.  I cut my hair.  I realized I need to forgive.  I started understanding things at work.  I feel like I was really starting to turn a corner.  

And then this past weekend I went to New York, and oh my gosh, I felt like I was finally seeing sunlight again.  

A few weeks ago in church, someone shared this pure joy they felt and gratitude in God and the blessings they had received.  I have been blessed to have that feeling so many times, but when she mentioned it, I couldn't really remember the last time I had felt that.  It had been so long, and I missed it.  

And then this Sunday, I felt it completely overwhelm me.  Just gratitude.  

And when I felt that, I was convinced that things were good again.  I was surprised to realize it comes and goes, and some moments are still hard and lonely and full of grief.  But there are so many more moments that I feel at peace. 

It feels like I am now able to breathe.  The hope that I had tried so hard to gather around me was finally being manifested.  

And wow, I am so grateful for that overwhelming ability to breathe....

xo. Elise