Collectively Random

Learning a language is not easy.  I go to class and I think I am rocking it because I remember that lechuga means lettuce.  I go to McDonald's to try to order a drink, and I get flustered and I don't remember any Spanish or understand anything what they are trying to say. 

It's a work in progress. 

I have been wearing my hair in a braid all week long.  I don't think this is particularly noteworthy, but I haven't worn my hair like that in a really long time, and it reminds me of high school and simpler times. 

If I'm being honest, having a Diet Coke habit is a lot more expensive in Spain than in the U.S.  The medium drink looks like a small and a can is 1 euro, but I'm not that upset about this either.  It's just a thing, you know? 

I just changed my Instagram password to something that I don't automatically know or recognize, and part of that feels kind of risky, and I am also wondering if that was a good idea?  One thing I've come to really love is not always having to respond to things or people.  The world seems quieter.  I don't love the isolated feeling all of the time, but at the end of the day, I really don't mind it.  I'm used to it? 

My roommate and I stayed up late talking last night because she realized she didn't know much about me.  We spend 23.5 hours a day together, but it is surprising how much you don't know about people.  So I talked about my pet rabbits (what a traumatizing story to be honest haha), and she talked about how she met her best friend in high school.  It's funny what bubbles up when you start talking about your favorite color or what scared you when you were younger. 

When I was 15, I had a goal to not look sideways.  I've been reflecting on that goal lately, and I'm reimplementing it.  Not looking sideways is difficult for me because I am always trying to gauge where I'm at, where everyone is at, where I need to improve.  So. Much. Analysis.  But not looking sideways is a good start, I think. 

I have also been thinking about how when you are a Enneagram 5, you always operate under the assumption that your life is a phone at 10% battery charge, with no charger or outlet nearby.  I've been thinking about that a lot, actually.  So much of my life is driven by this idea that time is running out--never enough.  Never enough time to accomplish everything before my battery dies?  I'm working on remembering that I'm not an iPhone 4 that will be put in a drawer to gather dust after the newer model comes out. 

This is also a good time to mention that I've been working on not thinking as much because when you have a lot of time on your hands, it's really hard to not think, but it's exhausting to think. 

xo. Elise