Sunburn

Being on anti-malarial medicine is such a strange feeling.  My body doesn't handle medicine super well (I'm allergic to four types?), and being on an antibiotic for 46 days wasn't pleasant.  The first Monday I was there, Lanyero took me around the village, and I was only wearing short sleeves.  The entire time I was paranoid about getting bitten by a mosquito.  A lot of my trip there was a haze of fear.  Being fully present was overwhelming and scary, and I was preoccupied most of the time.  I had a list running through my mind about my safety--where was Lanyero, was this safe to eat, how much water do I have left, where is my bag, am I sufficiently covered from mosquitos.  No wonder I slept in the car the first week. 

I would always sit with my raincoat or blazer in my lap when we were in the car.  My hands would be burned from the sunlight streaming in, and I would cover them with my jackets.  I would religiously apply sunscreen every day, but my hands still stung.  It was a familiar feeling, I was on this medicine a couple of years ago and I got badly burned.  It feels like there are pins and needles in your hands most of the time, or the flash of pain from a hot curling iron.  My stomach was often upset, but I'm not entirely sure if that was from the food, the water, or the medicine. 

For a month after I got back, that sting followed me.  I still applied sunscreen, still covered my hands, still wore a hat. 

For whatever reason, I felt that pain yesterday and it just took me back to when my normal was not washing my hair, filling the toilet tank, tucking in my mosquito net, and eating leftover chicken for breakfast. 

xo. Elise