Real Thursday Afternoon

I'm feeling off today.  It is rainy and windy, and I've already eaten a bag of popcorn for a snack I wasn't that hungry for.   The cream puffs at lunch were also very delicious.  I have attempted to research for an upcoming trip, but I can't bring myself to read past the first paragraphs of the five articles pulled up.  Yesterday was all orange, and walking, and loving the city.  Today is being stuck in my room because of bad weather with the threat of homework and running looming overhead.  

I never thought a study abroad would turn out quite this way, which is interesting in a strange way.  Four weeks left, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I feel fine, I think?  And then I look at the golden trees (the sun has come out for a quick break as it sets), and I am not sure what I think.  

I'm happy.  Someone told me that this was the happiest they had ever been in their life.  I think I have too much trepidation to let myself wholly go into delirium, but I'm happy.  It's a strange, can't quite pinpoint why, type of happiness.  I do my homework, daily.  I talk with the same ten people.  I think about the future, often.  I take walks.  I've never been a walker, or maybe I am, but it bubbles up when I have time.  I am focusing on tracking and counting and wishing.  There are some promises I've made to myself that are hard to keep, but I think they might be worthwhile in the long-run.   

My parents are set to take-off in 24 hours, and it will be strange to have my worlds collide.  It's been seven weeks, which somehow seems infinitely longer than 49 days.  

And throughout this whole thing, I am realizing that I am bored today. 

And that's all I got. 

xo. Elise